theo: Entertainment

Big F1 news...

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:48:57 GMT

Quite suprisingly Donington Park is to host the British GP from 2010 - more here. I never guessed the speculation would actually turn into a reality.

And on the same day, Bernie also announced he's gonna stop badgering Melbourne to host a night race for a few years which should be music to Pete's ears!

Miss Bedfordshire

Wed, 07 May 2008 09:10:12 GMT

For those that don't know, I recently had the honour/pleasure/daunting task of being a judge at the Miss Bedfordshire regional heat of this year's Miss England competition. It was great fun apart from the mad rush of trying to score the contestants in up to 5 different categories at a time during the 30-40 seconds that they walked up on stage, posed, and walked off again! For those eagle eyed readers, you may even spot this judge sporting a healthy pint of Guinness!

Congratulations to Hayley Sams who won the title of Miss Bedfordshire 2008. The photos are starting to come in now, with shoots by Chas Spradbery and Joshua Cornejo.

For all the follow up articles and pictures, keep an eye on the Miss Beds website!

Bruce Willis to play Murray Walker?!

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:54:43 GMT

I had to check the date on this one, but apparently it's been confirmed and everything! If the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher is anything to go by, we could be in for a very cringeworthy movie!

A movie about German racing legend Michael Schumacher is to be produced, with veteran commentator Murray Walker set to be played by none other than Hollywood hard man... Bruce Willis.

The film will be made by a Hollywood producer, and will chart Schumacher's rise all the way up to the pinnacle of the sport, a career that saw him amass no fewer than 91 grand prix victories, a staggering 154 rostrum finishes and a record seven world championship crowns.

The news – initially revealed in Bunte magazine – has been confirmed in Barcelona this weekend by the 39-year-old's long-time manager Willi Weber, who added that the man from Kerpen is to play himself in the flick.

Perhaps even more surprising still, however, is the revelation that Weber has lined up Die Hard star Willis to play the role of Walker, who commentated on every one of Schumacher's successes.

“A Hollywood producer is interested,” the Daily Star quotes Weber as having said, “and the film would be called The Michael Schumacher Story, with him as the main actor. Bruce Willis would certainly do Murray justice.”

Walker was warmly referred to as ‘The Voice of Formula 1' during the half century he commentated on the sport for both the BBC and ITV, and his character is expected to narrate the film, in addition to appearing in a number of scenes with Schumacher.

“If you pop a pair of glasses on Bruce, the similarity to a younger Murray Walker is amazing,” an insider said, adding that the 53-year-old action hero would make ‘a very convincing' Walker. “Bruce is a huge F1 fan and insists the sport hasn't been the same since Murray retired in 2001.”

Futurama's back baby!

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 15:24:04 GMT

Just when you thought it was safe to watch something else!

Uncancel your plans for the future - Futurama is back! In this all-new feature-length epic, evil nudist aliens send Bender on a rampage through time, forcing him - slightly against his will - to steal all the Earth's priceless historic treasures. Will the heroic Planet Express crew save the planet? Will Leela find true love? Will the ancient and terrible secret of Fry's buttocks be revealed? Find out when you watch Bender's Big Score, the greatest adventure of our time, and also the greatest adventure of several other times! In the words of a certain beer-fueled robot... "We're back baby!"

Go buy it now! It even comes with a futuristic ('80s) 3D holographic cover!
Note: Currently available as a Region 1 DVD, but play.com says "coming soon" for Region 2.

If you've seen The Simpson's movie, don't worry, Futurama have managed to pack in enough jokes to fill the whole film, plus some extras, including a full-length episode of Hypnotoad - "The future's most popular TV program!" - and a great Futurama Maths lecture plus lots more!

And there's another three feature-length episodes on their way sometime soon...

Update: If you want a proper review rather than my "Go buy it now", look here.

Get your sun dance shoes on now!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:34:50 GMT

A doughnut-brandishing Homer Simpson was painted next to the Cerne Abbas giant on the hill above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, to promote the new Simpsons film.

Read full story: Wish for rain to wash away Homer.

Update: And for those that like a bit of donut tossing: Homer Scores!.

Bill Bailey's Cosmic Shindig

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 11:49:04 GMT

Went to see Bill Bailey and the BBC Concert Orchestra doing fun things with music on Monday at Queen Elizabeth Hall. It was an excellent show, and due to be broadcast on Red Nose Day (16th March) on Radio 3. I'm not sure how many normal Radio 3 listeners will make it past the first few minutes, but for everyone else, look out for this one and enjoy!

He even got his (new?) Theremin out a coupla times... and I'm a little jealous of his telescopic carbon-fibre alphorn too! I'll add them all to the list of instruments to buy when I'm rich, along with one of those Yahama electronic cello's :)

Secret Diary

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:05:28 GMT

New entry for February...

10-Feb-2007: Mafioso
He may be retired, but Michael Schumacher is enjoying his role as "ex-girlfriend" to the Ferrari team.

For all the previous entries, keep an eye out on Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher; hidden ones are being posted as I get the odd spare mo...

Update: Yey, P-F1 have redone their site and changed most of their links... again...!

Vids for giggles...

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 21:56:59 GMT

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 15:48:18 GMT

The big man has finally decided to write some more entries in his secret diary...

2-Dec-2006: Retirement
Now that he has parked that famous Schuberth helmet, Michael's thoughts have turned to his new role at Ferrari and the new car that will bear his name...
30-Dec-2006: 2007
Hello to all the tifosis wherever you are. It was not my idea to give a message to all my loving and devoted fans for New Year. As you will know, his holiness gives his traditional message to the faithful from his home in Italy. I did not really want to compete with Jean Todt and his message to the tifosi from Maranello, but I was contacted by my local branch of the Samaritans...

But if you want all the previous entries, keep an eye out on Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher, as I'm gonna bite the bullet and post all the hidden ones as soon as I get a mo!

Shrek the Third!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:02:14 GMT

Shrek's back!! Go watch the trailer for Shrek the Third now!!

A John Dorian Christmas

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 10:43:46 GMT

If you've got 10 mins to sit back and sup your coffee then go watch Scrubs perform A Charlie Brown Christmas!

[via]

Christmas Puzzle 2006 - 5 Out Of 5

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:10:29 GMT

This year's annual Charity Christmas Puzzle has now been posted, and is available to download.

For full details, please go to the Christmas Puzzle website.

Simpsons Movie

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:05:28 GMT

If you haven't seen it already, go check out the trailers for the Simpsons Movie due for release 27 July 2007.

Bunnies....!

Scary Mary

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:03:37 GMT

In a similar vein to Shining comes...

Scary Mary
When the East wind blows...and the fog rolls in...she appears.

[via]

Funeral Planning

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 13:27:57 GMT

I haven't got round to reading Scott Adams for a while, but a few from a coupla weeks back just made me laugh a tad too loud & woke up the whole office...

[Planning my Funeral] ..."My first idea was to require each of the attendees at the funeral to dab some of my ashes on their chins. That would make for witty conversation at the ceremony as everyone tried to guess what part of me they were wearing, e.g. “Hey Bob, I think his scrotum is on your chin"

Go read more if you haven't already!

Punish your Microsoft Developer

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 11:10:01 GMT

The new version of Windows Error Reporting is to be called WE-SYP:

Run VT: Punish your Microsoft Developer.

You gotta love Estate Agents for trying

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 09:28:00 GMT

Jollity to make you smile on a Thursday: When Lying Becomes Pathological

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 10:43:49 GMT

Oops, I missed a few! So here's a quick round up of the next three. If you want to read (some* of the) previous entries, see The Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Melbourne: It doesn't seem so long ago that I was talking to you before the grand prix at Monza. Some of you may be remembering that my manager Willi Weber announced I would be telling everyone what I was doing with my career by March 2006 and now we are in April and I am not telling anyone yet... [Read On]

Spain: Hello tifosis. This is getting a bit more interesting now. You will have noticed that things have certainly livened up in the last few weeks. All the expectations of the beginning of the season have been turned on their heads. The man who was expected to be the front-runner this year is now falling away - yes, Valentino Rossi's name has hardly been mentioned in the last few weeks....[Read On]

Monaco: Hello tifosis. I had a bit of a strange weekend, I can tell you. So far I have not revealed the true reason of what is happening to me in Rascasse on Saturday, but quite honestly and obviously I would like to get it all over my chest....[Read On]

* Planet-F1 in their ultimate wisdom have changed all URLs so that all entries before 41 have vanished from existence... unless of course you happen to have a copy lying around just ripe for republishing...

Entertaining Times

Wed, 24 May 2006 10:14:32 GMT

It appears my horn bloke, has been raised one 'Amazing Juggling Finale'.

All that I currently have left in my hand is this interactive mosaic that allows you to endlessly drill down into each image to see all the images used to make it up. And it doesn't even have a play button... Go Play!

So what now? Should I raise again or maybe just fold? Am I even playing the same game anymore? Why does 4 + 2 = 6? And why are hedgehogs so cute, yet at the same time manage to look a little bit evil?

Answers on a postcard, or maybe even in the comments if you're feeling particularly passport enabled!

Update:: Ah ha! OK, how's about Tim Buton's first film - Vincent? No, still the wrong game? Oh well, I guess fold it is then!

French guy with the horn

Wed, 17 May 2006 15:53:37 GMT

Comedy French guy covered in honk-honk horns and using them to play a classical medley (with Popcorn thrown in for good measure!).

Take a look!

Woo another bank holiday!

Mon, 01 May 2006 08:59:30 GMT

So what is the world up to today then? And what has happened to time going into super speed mode over the past 3 months?

Admitedly that's mostly down to getting the latest release of our software out the door, which finally happened last week! Major Celebrations!!

On top of that I've somehow managed to get a few new bits together for the Eaton Bray site, including at least the basics for the Village Hall site plus finally twigging that I need to start getting interactive stuff up there. Hopefully in the not too distant future I can actually get the long awaited Events Diary and maybe even a forum if I'm feeling particularly energetic!

So now all that's left to do before next bank holiday is get hold of some corks to finally bottle up my very tasty (if a little sweet!) elderberry wine which has been fermenting away in the airing cupboard and cuddled up to by the kittens for the past few months.

Ah, and probably get my arse into gear on moving away from spaces and back into my own little world of theogray.com once we get our new jet powered web server setup and in place... and getting the new kitten pics up online... and getting on with decorating the house... and trying to get more stuff unpacked before I suddenly realise I've been here a whole year already and am still surrounded by boxes... raaaaah...

Happy May Day Everybody!

The Slanket

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 19:49:38 GMT

Ever curled up on the sofa in your regular blanket and realised you'd need to freeze your upper body just to reach the remote (obviously not a problem for paj in the lovely warm place, but for the rest of us...), or needed to do some work on your lappy and had to make a decision between warmth or money?

Well no longer do you have to choose; just get yourself The Slanket™ - all that soft fleece blanket with practicality too, and all for less than £40!

[Has this really not been sold before now?] [via]

Shining

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 20:50:19 GMT

Shining
Coming this fall, Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall star in a heartwarming story about a family's journey of self-discovery. See it again and again.

[Yeh, yeh, it's over a year old, but still made me smile when I found it today!]

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 14:03:35 GMT

Planet-F1 have finally posted Schumi's Christmas Message from the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher.

Part 48: Our Sekret Tagebuch contributor, Michael Schumacher, continues his series of exclusive revelations about Schumiwelt and the state of F1.

Las Aventuras De Mr Coo

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 11:38:25 GMT

This is a really fun and imaginative animation from Nacho Rodriguez with monsters, robots and even manic sofas!

Las Aventuras De Mr Coo

Christmas Lights Madness

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 18:59:02 GMT

I know Americans love lights on their house around Christmas, but this is much more fun!

See Christmas Lights Gone Wild... The Video!, with this forum thread for more info.

Tired of Speeding Tickets?

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 09:51:10 GMT

Want to open up spaces between you and the cars around you?

Step 1: Tie these balloons to your car

Step 2: Drive VERY FAST

Step 3: Watch people freak out.

Step 4: Tell the nice officer you thought they were real.

[I know it's been around for a while, but it only just appeared in my Inbox!]

Schwarzenegger Street

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 11:15:57 GMT

Entertainment for a Wednesday morning: Schwarzenegger Street.

Apparently there's some political lot behind it, but it's still good comedy!

arrrrrrrrrr... Cheyney Monster!

Bug Jam, Santa Pod, July 2005

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 20:50:32 GMT

OK, so I'm a slacker; it's only taken me three months to get round to uploading the pics from Santa Pod this year... Enjoy!

(Click the pics to show the whole album)

Halloween Yoda

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 16:18:50 GMT

After seeing dooce's costumes for Leta and Chuck, I wasn't sure how much better the costume pics could get, but this was too cute/slightly disturbing to ignore. 1... 2... 3... aaaaaw!

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 14:10:31 GMT

Well it's been a while, but Planet-F1 have finally posted another installment from the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher.

So here is part 47, including such comedy quotes as:

"It is funny that Jenson Button is getting so many sticks for saying that women drivers would be getting their dumplings in the way of driving and would not be able to race for one weekend a month because of their bad temper. That to me sounds like Juan Montoya; he is so often in the bad temper.

"It is most surprising to see so many people giving Jenson a hard time for his comments... I think it is because Jenson is young and rich and ginger and people do not like that." and

"ITV (the people who think it is worth paying money to Ted Kravitz to say stuff like "good race Michael?" with a stupid grin all over his face when I have buried the car in the barriers)"

Best read with the rest of this installment, and if you haven't read any of the rest of it, have a look back through past installments of the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher.

Comedy for Halloween

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 16:46:05 GMT

Catching up on a bit of Scott Adams, today's entry made me laugh probably a bit more than it should have done! - Fear of Birds

And here's a bit of fun for halloween from Amish Donkey:

Movies in 30 seconds

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 10:03:54 GMT

Pop along to MSN Space of the Day and check out the Windows Media Player block. Click BEGIN to start the animation.

Don't forget to click Next - - for Pulp Fiction, The Exorcist & Scream!

sometimes..........

The master of low expectations

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 09:27:51 GMT

Simple but entertaining... wander along to google... stick in the word "failure"... click "I'm Feeling Lucky"... laugh!

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:31:53 GMT

Planet F1 nearly caught me off guard then with a new installment of the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher just a couple of weeks after the last one.

So here goes with part 46: In this, his secret diary, Planet-F1 readers can find out what really goes on behind that cool, detached exterior.

20 Things Not To Say To A Police Officer...

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 13:05:26 GMT

In at 14... "Bad cop. No donut." [Link]

Update:

Seems like that link is hiding away from the public now, but here's a selection, with a new fave in at #18...

4. Didn't I see your butt get kicked on "COPS"?

5. I’m not drunk! I’m… special.

7. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

10. I pay your salary!

11. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

12. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

16. You again? I thought I lost you at that last red light.

18. (after winding down the window) Can I get two cheeseburgers and a Coke?

Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 19:10:04 GMT

Planet F1 published another entry from the Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher last week. I have been trying to keep live links to entries but am currently missing about four. If anyone is able to help out with where they might be now, please leave a message in the comments.

The latest entry is now added: The Secret Diary of Michael Schumacher.

Part 45: Planet-F1 brings you the secret diary of the World's greatest F1 driver as he bounces back in Budapest...

Wayside Chapel

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 18:58:01 GMT

An English lady is buying a house in Switzerland. On returning home, she realises that she didn't see the toilet in her new house. She therefore writes to the Estate Agent asking the whereabouts of the WC. The Estate Agent has verylittle knowledge of the English language and so asks the Parish Priest to translate the letter for him. The only equivalent of WC that he can think of is the 'Wayside Chapel'. This reply is therefore received by the English lady.

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is situated nine miles from the house in the centre of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds.

It is capable of holding 229 people, and it is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great number of people expected during the summer months, I suggest that you come early, although there is usually standing room. This is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the WC and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush for seats. There were ten people to every seat usually occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces.

You will be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it, while those who can afford to go by car arrive just in time. I would especially recommend your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent, even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newset addition is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all, since people feel it is long needed. My wife is rather delicate and she cannot attend regularly. It is almost a year since she went last, and naturally it pains her very much not to be able to go more often.

I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, where you shall be seen by all. For the children there is a special day and time so that they do not disturb the elders. Hoping to be of some service to you.

Yours faithfully,

BMX Park

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:05:26 GMT

Way too addictive!!!... Go Play!

I just had to put this up!

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 09:25:57 GMT

For some reason, Mike from the Young Ones realising he's nailed his legs to the table has always made me smile. Now I have this too!

Crouching Tiger, Cheeky Monkey!

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 15:17:52 GMT

Just for giggles - a quick bit of Monkey vs Tiger wildlife comedy to cheer up your Thursday afternoon.

And if you're a fan of Natalie Imbruglia, here's how to mime to 'Torn'...

Charity Christmas Puzzle 2004 - A knight-errant

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 23:02:14 GMT

It's time for this year's Charity Christmas Puzzle. The Puzzle, which has a theme designed to help completion, will appeal to people who enjoy Crossword puzzles (though it is not a crossword puzzle). Puzzlers have plenty of time to find the answers and puzzles should be returned, with donation, by 23rd January. Four winners will each receive a £20 prize.

This is the fourteenth annual Puzzle that Gordon Gray has set and, so far, raising a total of over £15,000 that has been distributed to various charities. This year's puzzle will support three small charities: WorkAid, Skillshare and Friends of the Animals, each receiving £300, as well as St Luke's Hospice in Harrow & Brent who will receive the residue.

Anyone who would like a copy of the Puzzle can download it from the web at www.christmaspuzzle.co.uk.

Everyone who enters will qualify for a £20 prize draw.

Pub Landlord

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 23:38:27 GMT

Just seen Al Murray's latest... great comedy! Originally saw him live in Southampton nine years ago; he was a class act then, and he just gets better!

Gym related comedy

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 05:37:42 GMT

I know it's been around for a month or so by now, but had this emailed to me this morning ... Running Machine @ JengaJam ... made me laugh anyways :-]